


Torn Away From You

by DirtyBrian



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I mean what else?, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:26:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8427688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyBrian/pseuds/DirtyBrian
Summary: Things have been difficult since Bad Wolf Bay. They've pulled away from one another, and the strain is showing. One night, Rose reaches her breaking point and their insecurities come pouring out.





	

_ “Um, no,” he said, backing away, a look of disgust crossing his features. _

 

_ Rose clapped a hand to her mouth, utterly mortified. “M’sorry, Doctor,” she mumbled through her fingers, fighting the tears that sprung to her eyes. _

 

_ “Sorry?” he chuckled darkly, his expression cold. “What made you think that was all right? That that was something that I’d want- especially from you?” He backed away from her further, and she shrank against the edge of the couch. _

 

_ She didn’t know what had happened. They’d been curled up as usual, watching a movie. Rose had been giggling at the Doctor’s offense at the scientific inaccuracies. He’d looked down at her, his eyes warm and bright, and she’d leaned that little bit forward, capturing his lips with her own. _

 

_ The kiss had lasted a fraction of a second before he reacted, prying his lips from hers and pushing her away forcefully. He stood before her now, his lip curled in a sneer. “I thought it was about seeing the universe for you,” he spat, tone more fierce than she’d ever heard. “I thought it was about something other than that. But I guess it’s the same with all you humans- stupid apes. What makes you think I would ever choose you?” With those words, he turned on his heel. “That’s what I get for bringing you aboard. You’re going home.” _

 

_ “H-home?” she stammered, the blood draining from her face. _

 

_ “Yes, home. The estates, where you came from. Maybe you can find a nice shop to work in.”  _

 

_ She recoiled further, unable to stop a tear from spilling down her cheek, though she brushed it away hastily. “Doctor!” she cried, hurrying after him. “Doctor, wait, please! Stop!” His words resonated in her, and she was shocked at how badly they hurt. _

 

_ He didn’t slow his pace towards the console room, but she heard a derisive noise, and her desperation increased. _

 

_ “Doctor, stop! We can talk about this, can’t we, Doctor!” _

 

_ Nothing. _

 

_ “Doctor!” _

 

***

The Doctor cocked his head, listening closely to the noises from the other room, his frown deepening. He didn’t know what to do- he’d heard her nightmares nearly every night since they’d landed in this universe, and he was at a loss for how to help. 

 

A muffled cry filtered through the wall, and his heart clenched painfully. He wanted nothing more than to go to her, gather her in his arms, and make all the bad things go away. But he hesitated, unsure that his comfort would be accepted, let alone welcome.

 

It had been...difficult, since Bad Wolf Bay. At first, she’d seemed content, even thrilled, to have him there with her. But since things had settled down, since they’d actually relaxed and taken a breath, the Doctor felt like Rose had pulled away. And he hated it.

 

He’d convinced himself very early on that she was distancing herself from him because she didn’t want to be with him, wanted to be in the other universe. He’d agonized over this, nearly broken down on several occasions. But...she didn’t act like that. She didn’t act like he was a burden, didn’t act like she was angry about quite literally supporting him over the last few weeks. He loathed himself for it, for being so dependent upon her, but she didn’t seem to mind. And so he’d relaxed slightly

 

Then she started having the nightmares, had started waking up screaming. The first couple of nights, he’d dashed into her room, ready to fight whatever was threatening her. What he didn’t expect, though, was to find her huddled near the headboard, shaking and crying and yelling for him to get out. Daleks, Cybermen, The Master...those he could all handle. Rose wanting nothing to do with him, though? That- that he couldn’t quite come to grips with. And he had no idea how to solve it.

 

So he’d retreated in on himself in return, pulled back emotionally, protecting both himself and Rose. He was friendly enough with her, and there was certainly plenty of hand-holding and hugs...but nothing else. He yearned for those deep, meaningful conversations, and every single atom of his being screamed at him to pull her close and tell her that he didn’t want anything beyond her. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t force her into that.

 

Another scream pierced the air, and he was up and out of bed before he even really thought about it.

 

He wouldn’t make her decide anything, wouldn’t push the issue, but he’d be damned if he didn’t help her through this.

 

***

 

“Rose, Rose, wake up!”

 

She sat up in bed with a gasp, scrabbling backwards until she nearly fell off the edge. Her breath was coming in short gasps, and she could feel her whole body shaking. A nightmare. It had been a nightmare.

 

She looked up into a pair of concerned brown eyes- the same pair of eyes that only seconds ago had been looking at her with contempt. He must have heard her from the other room- he’d been sleeping in the guest bedroom since they’d come back from the beach that day. While she desperately wanted him in the same room with her, she didn’t know if he wanted the same. They hadn’t talked about...anything, really. Nothing about what really mattered. Nothing about why she was having nightmares and he looked more drawn and upset with each passing day.

 

She shook herself slightly, reminding herself that this was neither the time nor the place to give voice to her fears. He didn’t want to hear them.

 

“Why’re you here, Doctor?” She tried to glare at the Doctor, to keep him away, but she was so tired and so emotionally overwrought, she figured she probably looked like a kicked puppy. That’s how the Doctor was looking at her, at least. Pathetic.

 

“I could hear you from the other room, Rose. What happened?” He grasped her elbows gently, pulling her closer to the center of the bed. She stayed, curled in on herself, still shaken by the events of her dream. The sheets were tangled up in a ball at the foot of the bed, and she shivered in the cool night air, the sheen of sweat on her body cooling rapidly. The Doctor noticed- of course- and wrapped an arm around her, drawing her against his chest.

 

This small amount of physical contact tipped Rose over the edge, and she turned her face into the Doctor’s neck, trembling. “M’sorry, it was just a nightmare. It was stupid.” He didn’t need to hear what it was about, didn’t need to know that she’d had the same nightmare since he came back with her from Bad Wolf Bay. He had enough to worry about without the burden of her insecurities too.

 

“Rose, you woke up screaming. It was not stupid.” His tone was calm, and she could hear the steady thrum of his single heart. “You were screaming my name, telling me to stop. Where was I going?”

 

“Th’ console room. We were back on the TARDIS,” she muttered tonelessly, taking a deep breath to quell the panic rising inside of her. She didn’t want to lose control now, to tell him everything. But oh god, she wanted him to know, too. “You were taking me home.”

 

“Why would I do that?” He pulled away slightly, brow furrowed in confusion. She looked up at him, fear warring with the desire to spill everything out, to just get it over with. The look in his eyes was quizzical and concerned, and more than a little bit scared, and it finally tipped her over the edge.

 

“B-because I kissed you and you said that you were taking me home and you were disgusted that I’d d-do that and you called me a stupid ape and-and…” her voice cracked slightly, and she paused, willing herself to continue. She couldn’t leave it there.  “And I’m just afraid that you think that about me, that I’m, I dunno less than you and you gave up everything to be with me, and I can’t give you anything and I just….I don’t want you to hate me, please.” Her hands fisted the fabric of his sleep tee involuntarily as she gave into the tears that she’d been holding back for...too long, really. 

 

The Doctor stared at the wall as Rose cried into his chest, processing everything she’d just said. “No,” he stammered, “Rose, no.” He bent his head down to press his lips to the top of her head, pulling her closer. “That couldn’t be farther from the truth,” he murmured into her hair, rocking back and forth gently.

 

It took a minute for Rose’s tears to slow, and she didn’t loosen her hold on the Doctor’s shirt. He cradled her in his arms, wrapped around his as securely as possible, murmuring comforting words. When she finally was still (though tense, he noted worriedly), he pulled back to brush his thumb over her cheek, catching a few stray tears in the process.

 

“Can I say something now?” he said, his tone gentle and light. She gave him a watery smile and nodded.

 

“‘Course,” she croaked, voice scratchy from crying. He could still see that she was wary, but he was thrilled that she hadn’t pulled back.

 

“Thank you.” He took a breath, trying to get his bearings. “Now, first off, I want you to know Rose Tyler, that there is not a single universe in which I would be mad about you kissing me. Not one.” This elicited a weak chuckle, which is what he’d hoped for, and he winked cheekily at her before continuing. “Secondly- and this is where I want you to listen very, very carefully, because it is of the utmost importance, all right?” He paused and cupped her cheek, tilting her face up so that he could meet her eyes. “I love you.” His voice only shook slightly, for which he was eternally grateful.

 

Rose’s eyes widened slightly, and she could feel the tears threaten again. She opened her mouth to speak, but he shushed her.

 

“Nope, not quite finished yet. Because I know now that both of us have been terribly stupid about this whole situation. You haven’t told me about these feelings that are obviously not new, and I haven’t told you that those fears are utterly and completely baseless.” His grip on her tightened, and she could see a shimmer in his eyes. “Because there is nowhere in the universe- not one place in the multiverse even, that I want to be more than right here. With you. And to say that you’re less than me- oh Rose, I’ll be having words with whoever made you think that. Because you are...so much more to me than I can possibly express.” He emphasized his point by dropping a lingering kiss onto her forehead.

 

“You...you still gave up everything to be with me,” she said in a very small voice, trying to convince herself that this was indeed happening. It could be dream, but she wanted  _ so  _ badly for it to be real. Wanted him to  _ want  _ to be with her.

 

“Yes, I did. And I would do it again.” He straightened and gave her a broad grin, even though the effect was ruined slightly by the moisture in his eyes. “And again, and again, and however many times it was necessary for me to prove that “everything” pales in comparison to having one you.” His voice wavered again, and she could feel her breath catch in her throat.

 

“I love you too,” she said softly, timidly, just in case this wasn’t real. But then he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers, erasing any doubt that she might have had.

 

It wouldn’t be perfect right away, she knew. They were both too scarred, too hurt from their combined pasts to simply fall into a picture-perfect love story. But as the Doctor kissed her (quite thoroughly, she was delighted to note), Rose came to the conclusion that she didn’t need perfect. She just needed her Doctor.

 

He was enough.


End file.
